19

Big news: Lucy, our sweet baby girl, is no longer a baby girl.  She's potty-trained now!  It's amazing, too, how much and how quickly she's grown since then.  Her personality, as beautifully defined as it was, has skyrocketed in the last couple weeks, and you can see how proud of herself she is (and with good reason).  Tristan's so proud of her, too.  Sure, he'll say something like, "Goose!  You did it!  I encouraged her; do I get a treat, too?", and do it all in the same breath, but you can see how proud he is of his sister.

I've been going back and listening to some of Rob's old sermons, and they've been hitting pretty close to home.  The handful I've listened to recently have been about God using all for good, and it's all over the place right now.  Maybe listening has made me more acutely aware, or maybe I started listening to these because I was seeing things around me, but it's interesting nonetheless.

My mom's insanity has given us insight into how we handle each other's thoughts and such, which is good, I'm sure.  The Youngs moving to WV has actually, I think, brought all of us closer (and has changed some perspectives pretty seriously along the way), and it's been wonderful getting to know them in a more real sense (more on that later).

Now, it's time for Julie to go to bed, and that means it's time to read some Narnia, and so I think I'll go to bed as well.  Here's to a new year.

18

What a stretch.  Here's what's been going on:
1.  We're having another baby!
2.  We're very much settled into our new place.
3.  We switched capo groups.
4.  The kids are insane.
5.  Friends at church.
6.  School.

Some thoughts on these:

1.
We're having another baby!  Surprise!  While the news hit in sort of a strange way at first, we're very excited about this.  There are a lot of things you just don't think about anymore as the kids get a little older (and especially when you think you've seen the last pregnancy), and it's honestly nice to remember them again.  It'll be a whole whirlwind experience, especially with the couple of crazies we already have running around here, but it's getting more and more exciting as it gets more real (Julie has started to show, she's out of first trimester, so feeling much much better; things are kind of hitting a groove).  Too bad Julie gave away at least most of her maternity clothes... But we'll get her some new ones.

With this, however, comes an issue we had been (somewhat) avoiding: we have a minivan, but it's kind of a mini-minivan, in that it doesn't actually have trunk space when the seats are in.  Now, this isn't a big deal right now, as we only need two seats in.  However, once #3 comes along, the convenience of leaving one or two seats out of the van is no longer an option.  Thus, we are on the market for a new (bigger) van, and very much hoping to find a nice Odyssey.  We'll see how this goes.

2.
I think the last time I posted, we were living in our old place.  Luckily for us, we happened to have just moved into a 3-bedroom place.  We had not honestly been looking too seriously at 3-bedroom places, as they're generally quite a bit more expensive, but this place kind of fell into our laps.  Now, I've moved a lot.  A lot a lot.  And when you've been looking for a new place and move into one, you're usually still in that rhythm of looking at available places, so you end up doing some comparing (whether you want to or not), and, inevitably, you see places that are just a bit nicer that you will "keep in mind for the next time we're moving."  Not this time.  This place is great.  It's a very small development, it's filled with kids (young kids, at that), there are three playgrounds, it has three bedrooms for the price of our old 2-bed place, it's very close to work/school, it's not on some busy street, and it's some 30% bigger than our old place... All in all, the only thing this place is missing is continuous counter space.  It's not that there isn't space, it's just distributed strangely.  But Julie says she doesn't mind, and it certainly affects her more than the rest of us, so no worries.  One day in the not-too-distant future, we'll buy a house and I'll make sure she has the most amazing kitchen ever.  But for now, we'll take our almost perfect place for sure.  Thanks, God, for another quick blessing.

I'm not sure if I've posted this before, but Julie has this amazing ability to turn a place into a home so fast that you wouldn't believe it.  I know the kids help with that, too (because what makes a place feel homey quite like seeing your kids play in it?), but she just has all these little touches that make a place warm and comfortable.  Incredible.

3.
We switched capo groups.  There's really not much to say about this one.  While living in GR, it made a lot of sense to train in GR.  Now that we're in Kalamazoo, it makes a lot of sense to train in Kalamazoo.  If our group in GR was particularly close-knit or super advanced or something, we may have considered trying to make that work.  But, as it happens, the GR group seems to be "going through some changes," AKA one group that is relatively isolated is more or less becoming two smaller groups that are relatively isolated, and there was a rather large exodus at the top, so what remains is a handful of noobs, one instructor who is the same level as we are (which then doesn't push you forward, really), and one unlikely guy who finds himself teaching classes that, while they may be okay for said noobs, don't have much to offer us that we haven't seen a few hundred times.  The group was quite strong before the exodus, but people are growing up and going out and getting married and starting careers (instead of jobs), and doing big things.  So when the majority of the talent and instruction leave, what remains has to adjust, or it gets shelled out (look what happened to Flint when GM left).  So, we switched groups.  CDO is closely related to Mandinga, and the politics of switching aren't too elaborate, especially since the CM for our old group "grew up" training with the Profesor of the K-Zoo group.  No big deal.

4.
The kids are insane.  Fact.

Tristan is ridiculous with some of the things he says (and knows).  In the car, the other day, he told Julie that Lucy had two Xs, but he had an X and a Y.  When asked to explain, he said it was because he was a boy and Lucy's a girl.  Chromosomes.  He's talking about chromosomes.  Why not?

Lucy is at that point where she's able to show all the stuff she's learning more easily.  She has learned the letter sounds, and she's begun to recognize what some of them look like.  If Tristan has his druthers, she'll be singing the alphabet song with him by this time tomorrow.  Well, maybe not this time, as they'll be asleep, but something close.  She's just smart enough to do it, too.

I think I better cut this section short, because it could quickly become very very long.  Let's just stick with the original statement: the kids are insane.

5.
We made some friends at church.  They're a young couple (I think two years older than us) who have two kids: a boy, who is a few months older than T, and a girl, who is a few months younger than Lu.  They're also an interracial couple (he's white, she's Japanese), so their kids look an awful lot like ours.  More than that, they act the same.  We went to their place for a cook-out, and when Tristan walked into their kids' room, he just stopped dead and said, "they have my bed!"  They have the same bed as he does, the same letter mat, a train set, tools, and they just play in much the same way as T and Lu do.  It's pretty remarkable.  Kai, their boy, is in the same room in Sunday school as Tristan, and Sakura, their girl, is in with Lucy, so they seem to have fun.  Well, Tristan and Kai do, for sure.  Lucy and Sakura are still at that age where what they really want is Momma.  They love to play together, but only if they know their Mommas are nearby.

We were driving past a KIA dealer the other day, and Tristan pointed out that they spelled Kai wrong.  I had no idea what he was talking about, and then he pointed.  When I realized he was talking about the KIA dealer, I about lost it.  Hilarious.

6.
School.  This was a big week, school-wise.  Two homework assignments, an exam, and covering my advisor's class while he was in France.  There were a few late nights in there, but now all of it's over, and, as an added bonus, I have no exam on the calendar for either class, and neither class has homework due next week.  Translation: a weekend off.  I'll do some research still, but this is nice.



Well, that's it for now.  Hopefully I'll manage to post again soon.

17

I have a lot to post, and soon, but for now, here are some words to think about:

My future hangs on this
You make preciousness from dust
Please don't stop creating me

Your blood offers the chance
To rewind to innocence
Reborn, perfect as a child

When sin and ugliness
Collide with redemption's kiss
Beauty awakens by romance

Always inside this mess
I have found forgiveness
Mercy as infinite as You

Fragments of brokenness
Salvage by the art of grace
You craft life from our mistakes

Black skies of my regrets
Outshone by this kindness
New life dawns over my soul

16

Here another month has passed.  I really don't mean for there to be such a time gap between posts, but so it goes.

Here's what's been happening: Tristan is spending his first night in his top bunk tonight.  We went out and got him some dino sheets for the occasion, and he's so very excited.  He got upset, though, after a little while, so I went up to check on him, and in the most despairing voice he could possibly muster, he told me, "Papa, Dude is flipping a nut!"  What a nut.  He's quite something.  He and Lucy now sit next to each other at the table, which they both love.  Who would've thought that something so simple would mean so much to them?

Lucy is nodding her head "yes" now, and she's not shy to show off that ability.  She's also becoming quite the little girl.  Last night, I watched 'My Neighbor Totoro' (which I'll gladly recommend), and the main characters are two little girls (they're sisters).  The younger of the two, Mei, is Lucy.  She even looked similar.  Mei is four, however, but it was almost like watching a little preview of our Missy Miss's future self.  She'd chase her big sister around and copy what she was doing and always yell, "wait for me!"  It's exactly like Lu now; if Lu could talk, I think the words, "wait for me" would be generously thrown around.

Julie's been reading and reading and reading.  Amy sent her some books (3 of them... it's a trilogy), and Julie dove right in.  She's reminding me of summers when I was younger, and how I'd just stay up forever to finish a book before I went to sleep.  I may do that again sometime soon, but I haven't been pulled by a book in a while, really.

I'm now more seriously studying for the qualifier.  August 20 and 21.  I discovered today that I may not have as much difficulty with the quantum section as I had been expecting because the research I've been doing is in the more difficult area of the quantum that I need to know for the qualifier.  Translation: what luck!  The kids seem to really benefit from a more regular schedule with me heading out "to work" for a few hours per day.  And the library's nice and cool in this hottest of summers.  Also, it doesn't smell like smoke.

Next item: we're moving.  We had gotten new neighbors, and they're the kindliest old couple, but they smoke and smoke and smoke.  It's awful.  And because they're guaranteed never to see 150 again, they're home all the time, which means they're always home smoking.  It's seeping through our walls.  We wake up with headaches, we're more irritable, heaven knows what it's doing to the kids...  It's hard to realize that people still smoke.  I kind of thought that time had come and gone.  It's just so selfish.  Well, consequently, we're moving to a place that's quite a bit bigger than the place we're in, and it's almost exactly the same price.  The place where we currently live is actually going up in price, too, so this new place, come November, will effectively cost less.  Until November, it'll be something like $10 more per month, so that's not going to break the bank.  I'm very excited to get out of here.  As a kid, I moved around a lot.  I guess that kind of spilled over into my adult life as well.  I know that the thought of moving can be stressful and all, but there's a part of me that always finds it exciting.  And when staying in your own place gives you headaches from your selfish smoker neighbors, the part that finds it exciting is pretty vocal.  

We took the kids to the water park again the other day.  Man, did they enjoy that!  Tristan was so excited even on the way there, that he was literally salivating.  Unbelievable.  

We've been married for four years!  Where did those four years go?  I don't know.  But it's been a wonderful four years.  For our anniversary, we went out for breakfast at a place in Kalamazoo called the Crow's Nest.  The food was great, and the prices weren't bad at all.  Quite the good find, honestly.  I can't believe it's been four years.  I can't believe Tristan's almost 3.  Lucy is pretty close to the right age, but it's starting to slip past, too.  They're so much fun, and they just absorb everything.  It definitely makes you think through everything you say and do before saying or doing it.  I mean, I don't think I say/do inappropriate things, generally, but it's just one small slip of a joke/song/movie reference, and they've picked it up.  We started watching a show called "Suits," which is about a guy who never went to law school, but through a set of circumstances, ended up a lawyer (watch the pilot if you're curious; it's a pretty fun show), and one of the firm's named partners is played by Gina Torres (Zoe from Firefly, of course).  Now, in "Castle," there are tons of little off-hand Firefly references, so of course, I'm waiting for them in "Suits" as well.  Well, whenever Gina Torres says something that starts with, "what does that...", I always (in my head) fill in the rest of the line with, "...make us?".  In Firefly, the answer was, "big damn heroes, sir," so in "Suits," the answer should be, "big damn lawyers, sir."  And it's a joke Julie and I make, but it spills over from time to time.  The other day, Tristan and Lucy elected to go poop at the same time-- one on each potty (it was much more adorable than it sounds), and the first line to pop into my head was, "big damn poopers, sir."  Sponges, though, those two are.  Full circle back to Tristan's "I'm flipping a nut."

I think it's time for me to get back to coding, but I also think I'll write again before another month goes by.  I feel like I've said that before...

15

It's been a little more than a month again.  I thought this would be a more frequent thing, but I've not found much luck coming up with words.  I've actually been in a bit of a funk lately, and I haven't quite been able to kick it.  I think I'm pulling out of it now, but I'm not quite sure.  We'll see.

Today, Tristan started writing letters.  He's quite good, especially considering it was the first time I've seen him just focus on that.  He can do O, Q, D, I, T, L, H, and A.  It seems like quite the assortment, but this is how he learned to recognize letters, too, so it's all a process.  He's got almost 1/3 of the alphabet, though, which is quite impressive, if you ask me.

Lucy is crazy.  She has been leaping and bounding out of baby-hood and into toddler-hood.  She's already more little girl than baby, and she keeps pushing forward.  She's really trying to talk, too.  "Momma, Da-da (dada or Duder?), Ba-ba (big brother or papa?), Ba-beeeee, brrrrr."  She's quite vocal.  She's also very into whatever Tristan is doing.  Most of the time, this works out well enough, but once in a while, he gets a 2yo streak in him or she gets a sassy streak, and then there's some conflict.  Nothing serious, though.  They rarely need more than fifteen or twenty seconds to resolve their differences.  And when it takes longer, it's usually an indication of an impending naptime/bedtime.

We took the kids to the pool, which they loved.  They had the best time and now want to go back.  It's considerably less warm today than it's been lately, but I think the plan is to hit up the pool after naptime anyway.  Then Julie will go to capo and I'll keep the kids busy for a couple hours.  Should be a good time.

I'd like to go for a run today, and I'm not sure if it's going to happen.  I'm not feeling particularly close to 100%, but I also think the run could help that along, so we'll see.  Maybe once this post is done.  I suppose even a short run is better than none at all.

Some thoughts:

We need one of two things to happen with regards to our living situation.  Option 1 (which would really be preferred) is for our neighbors to quit smoking.  The smell pulls into our place, and worst of all, it's the most pronounced in the kids' rooms.  It's disgusting and selfish, and I don't understand why one couldn't just smoke outside if one decided to smoke in the first place.  Ridiculous.  Option 2 (which looks to be the more likely) is to find a new place to live.  Now, we like our place a lot, we like the location, and we like the conveniences and what have you.  We have found another place that we actually like more (and it would cost less), but we have to get out of our lease first, and that seems to be the most problematic part.  There's a lot up in the air right now, and that's always a potential source of angst, though it shouldn't actually lead there too soon.  We'll just have to keep praying and see what's in store for us.

I'm getting a new computer from school for the sake of research.  This means I'll have to ramp up the programming part of my research again soon, but that's good (sometimes it sure beats just reading theory).  I'm actually quite excited about this, mostly because this will bring results I can actually see.

Qualifiers are in ~2 months, maybe a little later.  That should be interesting.

The question, "What does it mean to be a Christian?" is one that is intended to be thought-provoking and meditative.  It would be a nice question to pose to someone, then discuss with them a week or so later so that they've had some time to formulate some ideas.  If you want to tell someone you disagree with them and what they do, but have no intention of a conversation, make a statement, don't ask a question.  Questions call for a response.  While I'm on this road already, here are a couple things about this...  Outside of the essentials, there is no one Way to be a Christian.  Love God, love Jesus, and love each other as we have been loved.  Beyond that, ...  It's interesting, really.  At Mars, we've been going through the book of Acts, and the last few weeks have been about what it meant for people a couple thousand years ago to belong to one religious group or another, and what was required.  How I love God will most certainly look different from how you love God.  How I love my neighbor looks different from how you love your neighbor.  If we can so quickly accept that anger/sadness/happiness/fear/regret/excitement looks different from one person to the next, why is it so difficult to accept that love would do the same?  Why do we institutionalize?  The last thing Jesus came to do was start another religion.  Jesus is not about drawing a circle around oneself and instructing others as to how to enter.  He calls us to support one another and help one another stay true, but he does not call us to judge one another.  He does, however, call us to share His love with others, and that's awfully hard to do from inside a circle.  As Don Everts put it,

Jesus was a man with dirty feet. He spent most of these three years walking around with people.

He invited folks to become his intimate followers.

Everywhere he went, great crowds gathered around to listen to him, to be with him, to see what he would do next.

As Jesus led his twelve closest followers they would walk along the dirt roads together.

They went to parties together. They ate meals together. They worked together. Jesus walked as a human among humans, brushed elbows with politicians and outcasts, went to parties with

sinners and criminals, and embraced as his own family those he met on the street.

Jesus floated on no pristine clouds.

Jesus was no aloof elitist.

Jesus was no odd hermit.

He preferred the world of dirt and friends and handshakes.

He embraced this relational life on earth more passionately than anyone ever had.

This doesn't sound like someone who wanted to separate and alienate; this sounds like someone who wanted to love.  Reaching out to one another and sharing this love is not something we should be doing out of a sense of obligation.  We share because we want to, because we need to, because there's just too much beauty and truth and love to keep for ourselves, and if we don't share it with others, we'll be too overwhelmed to do anything else.  God's love is like the rain, not like a watering can.  We do not choose specific discretized locations to pour some water and leave other locations dry.  The rain falls on everyone indiscriminately.  And if you look around, what do you see?  People carry umbrellas, hold newspapers over their heads, run for cover, do all they can to stay dry.  We don't want to have to dry ourselves off and change and go back to our day.  Why have we forgotten how to be children, and to run out in the rain and hold our hands up and play in the mud?  Why is it that children know that when they're soaking wet and their clothes are plastered to their bodies and the only thing that hasn't been washed off of them is a smile that's altogether too big for their little faces, that the only appropriate thing to do - the only natural thing to do - is to wrap their arms around you and drag you out into the rain so you can enjoy it with them?  When do we forget this?  How do we get it back?  There's a great Bob Marley line:

"Some people feel the rain, others just get wet."

14

It looks like I'm posting ~once per month.  I guess that's how it goes.  Well, we have officially finished the first year of grad school.  When I say "we," I do mean my lovely family and myself, not "the royal We."  Without them, I'm not sure I would've been able to do so well, and I'm certain I would've lacked motivation.  So thank you.
I started my research, I suppose, today.  I even have a tentative title for my dissertation: R-Matrix MQDT (multichannel quantum defect theory) Rovibrational Frame Transformation Approach to Molecular Photoionization.  Doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but it'll get more comfortable.  It sounds as though starting this research may have effectively fast-tracked my degree, too, so that's good.  I do enjoy school and learning (and even classes), but I'm ready to do my learning out of school.  So here's to hoping this whole process is rather quick.

Lucy has a mouthful of teeth now.  It's like they all kind of poked through at once.  Incredible.  She's such a sassy little girl, too.  She just loves to toe the line, but it's clearly not with some sort of malicious intent.  Tristan knows his boundaries (though be they broad), and for the most part stays well inside them.  Lucy is ever trying to push her boundaries, which is certainly enough to keep us busy.  Maybe she gets that from her Papa, although I don't particularly think that's the case.  I'm quite sure she doesn't get that from her Momma, though, so maybe it's purely Lucy.  She's amazing.  For all the mischief she likes to flirt with, she's such a sweetheart.

Tristan is going through sort of a strange phase right now.  He wants to be super independent, but doesn't want to be by himself.  That sounded more contradictory when I read it back.  He wants to be able to do everything all by himself, but he wants someone around anyway.  At first, I thought he was just trying to show us how well he could do, but it doesn't always seem that way.  I think he's afraid of being alone.  If he wakes up during the night and doesn't just fall back asleep right away, I'll ask him what's wrong, and he'll usually say something like, "no Papa leave.  No Momma leave.  Momma and Papa stay with Dude." It's very sweet and endearing, and of course we want to love on our boy, but we need time together as well.  I think he's just filling in a lot of blanks about what it means to be him.  I'm not sure when we begin to define ourselves and take stock of our place in the world, but I think the seeds of that may be sprouting for him, and it's just so incredible to see.  He's definitely our lover.  He always wants to be a big helper, to be a big big brother, to "show you, Pop" or "check this out, Momma" (although for the past couple of days, he's been saying "Mommam"... no idea why).  He just wants to assert himself and really step up in whatever role he's currently playing.  It's beautiful.

Julie's marathon is saturday (can you believe it?).  She's been running like crazy, and now it's all coming to a point.  We drove part (not even all) of the course the other day, and I couldn't help but think these things to myself:
1. This is really long.
2. This is really hilly.
3. Why 26.52 miles?  Isn't 26.2 enough?
4. I could really go for some thai food...
I'm glad she wasn't discouraged by the course.  It's one thing to talk about distances and such, but to actually see all that distance is another thing altogether.  I've now started training for a half marathon in July, and even running four or five miles is daunting enough.  Well, four is okay.  But I ran seven the other day, and my knees are bruised from it!  Poor Momma!  I can't imagine what 26 would feel like (though, to be fair, I'm not entirely sure I'd want to imagine it).  She's a machine.

Right now, both of the kids are asleep and Julie is at her parents' place after rehearsal, so I'm downstairs by myself.  I don't have homework to be doing, I don't have some exam I should be studying for (except the qualifier, but not tonight)... I think all I have is some time to be.  God is good.

13

This weekend has been quite the adventure.  Julie ran a half marathon in Seattle on Sunday morning, and it seems it went very well.  Just a hair over two hours sounds pretty impressive to me!  She's amazing.  Now it's getting into the late hours on Monday morning (what was until pretty recently Sunday night), and I'm trying to come down off of today.  I dropped Julie off at the airport Saturday at about 5am in Detroit, and have been home with the kids since (except, of course, Saturday evening with Grandma and Don).  Tristan has gone this long without Julie exactly once, and it was when Lucy was born.  Tristan was so mad at Julie for that, that he didn't interact with her for days when she got back home.  I had come back at night to put him to bed each night we were in the hospital, and that seemed to get me off the hook.  This time, though, he seems very excited to see his Momma, and he's been saying prayers for her in the meantime.  He very proudly announces to anyone who will listen that "Momma ride a jet over mountains!"  He's very proud of her, and clearly misses her something fierce.  Lucy definitely knows that Momma's been gone longer than she particularly would find acceptable, and she's been teething to boot.  Translation: once things start to go downhill for Lucy, it's a very short time period before she winds up in bed.  For the most part, this is not a problem, but when it happens within a couple hours of her actual bedtime, then there starts to be an issue, mostly because I don't want her deciding that she's up for the day at 5am or so.  Momma may be able to do that, but I'm just not sure Papa's that resilient.  We have had quite a bit of fun, though.  Lots of playing... These kids will need a day or two to recover, I think, and that's good because I'm sure Julie will benefit from the same.  The plan now is to clean the place up tomorrow (so that Julie can come home and begin recovering straight away), play pretty hard, and then drive out to Detroit to pick Julie up at midnight.  I know all three of us are very excited to have her back.  I also know it's been a good trip for her, and a chance to really take a break from the rest of her life to just be (and run, I suppose).  It's been nice to have all this time with the kids, too.  But of course, it will be better to go back to normal.  Here's to the end of the night.